No, Daddy
by Dean'sNerdyAngel
Summary: Dean had to grow up too fast. And he's not really sure what to do, other than he needs to protect Sammy. No matter what.


**A short story about the difficulties of Wee!Dean and the struggles of the ****_why?_ ****between his knowledge of monsters and his mother dying. **_  
**"Sometimes a child needs a reason. A reason why people leave, why life is hard, and why it's important to get up in impossible situations."  
**_

_No, Daddy…_

"Daddy, no! Please!" a young Dean yelled as his father continued to shout at him to finish the obstacle course. "I can't! I can't do it anymore! It's too hard. I already did it once, didn't I?"

"Yes, you can, do it again! Once won't teach you. You won't remember." John told him furiously. "You have to, you hear me?"

"But Daddy…"

"Now, son!"

"Dad…"

"Don't argue with me." That tone in John's voice always made Dean stop disobeying his father. It used to be only used when he was playing with something he shouldn't, or he sneaked into the cookie jar. Now it was used when he was too scared to pick up the gun and shoot.

Dean, his tears clouding his vision and snot dripping from his nose, he once again pushed his aching muscles to do the cartwheels, gun shoots, and flips. He pulled his skinny arms to a bent position on the arm hang, every muscle in his body straining, and he propelled himself to the floor in a heap.

Quickly, breathing hard, he got up and stumbled to the gun on the floor, loaded with real bullets and three targets waiting to be shot, and be scrutinized by Dean's father.

But when he picked up the gun, his hands began to tremble. He pulled back the safety, remembering that he couldn't wait, and when he shot it, the kick hurt his hands, ruining his aim, and the bullet flew 2 feet away from the first target.

"Daddy, I'm sorry!" he cried.

John stared at him, his eyes boring into him. "Dean, you get up and try again. Don't have that happen again, or someday you'll be killed."

"But won't you protect me?" his voice cracked as a lump in his throat grew and he cried more.

"I may not be there."

"You used to say that you'd always be with me! That you'd protect me from everything!" Dean yelled angrily.

"Even fathers leave, Dean. And I won't be here forever. You have to know that. Now get up…and try again."

Dean sank to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He knew he shouldn't cry because Mommy would have wanted him to be strong. She was watching with the angels. But right now he was too scared, too confused…and too lonely. He wanted his Mommy, his room, his life…

As he lay there on the floor of the warehouse, he felt his father pull him into his lap and hugged him. Dean wrapped his arms around his neck, desperately seeking comfort that could fill up the hole in his heart for a little while.

But he didn't really _feel _John. Daddy wasn't hugging him like he used to. Maybe he wasn't hugging tight enough? Dean buried his face into his father's shoulder, hoping he would squeeze him and rub his back, just the way he liked.

But he didn't.

"Dean, I need you to look at me." John ordered.

His voice was firm, but it was softer than a minute before. Slowly, Dean looked up into John's face. John looked tired, both physically and mentally. Dean knew he missed Mommy too, because he hadn't smiled in a year.

"Now look over there," John pointed. Dean did, and little Sammy was babbling in a play pen, giggling and looking so happy. Dean relished the happiness his brother felt, slightly envious. "That's why you have to keep going, Dean. You want to protect Sammy, don't you?"

Dean nodded vigorously. He wanted Sammy to be happy forever, and not feel sad about their mother being gone or the monsters that might come for them. He needed to keep Sam and his father both safe, no matter what. He sat up a little straighter.

"Dean, are you going to try again?"

"Yes, Daddy."

**Very sad, and poor little Dean! :( The sad truth is protecting Sammy was the biggest thing of his childhood, and this is simply my take on how it happened in the early years. Please review!**

**I do not own Supernatural.  
**


End file.
